Monthly Archives: October 2009

You’re what?!?!

I woke up today feeling different. A fluttery feeling in the pit of my stomach.



I think I’m happy.

Happy is probably the hardest of emotions for me, because it means I’m letting my guard down and trusting. My crush surprises me on a regular basis. Sure, he has boy moments, but those are more than offset by new experiences. Like sweet. Thoughtful. Caring. And it all leaves me not quite sure what to do.

I suppose I could relax and try to enjoy what is. Believe that my crush is sincere, and brush away thoughts of what if.


Yeah, like that’s gonna happen.

Credits: SySy Kaunis pants (1) and skirt (2) [blog pack], Elymode leafy cardi set (1) and heart cami (2), Belleza Jesse skin, Truth Piper (1) and Yvette (2) hair, poetic eyes, Kunstkammer blackheart necklace (1), Candy Nail color change, Shanti Maitreya Gold shoes, Zaara Anaya onyx cluster earrings (1), Miel Elo jewelry (2).


When in Rome

I’ve made no secret that my crush is a touch role play sim enchanted, which leaves me with a couple of options. I can whine to my friends, which I never, ever do. Or I can dive in, embrace my inner demon and pursue him with all of the drive of a pack of aspiring models waiting for the next Reel Expressions BOGO sale.

With permission and encouragement to express myself in a more human form for the role play I set out to find a couple of new looks, lest my crush get bored and start sniffing around the little neko tail down the street.


I’ll be honest, having to role play attracting the attention of someone I already lured into my web is annoying. While I’m delighted with the way my new powers are shaping up, I’m guessing casting the princess card IC is a bit of a party foul.

Instead I’m having to develop a character who doesn’t conjure raging storm clouds when I don’t get my way and find more enticing ways to capture his interest. Or there’s that pack of Lycans …


Editor’s note: Lycans apparently now are my sworn enemies and despite being all *rawr* I will not pursue them, unless for the kill.

Editor’s note 2: Oh, if you are reading this, baby, that whole thing about checking out anyone else was a joke merely added to entertain my readers and avoid divulging how utterly smitten I am ❤

Credits (1) Magika Lust hair, Linc Petite net version dress top (blogger pack), Elymode long simple skirt (gift in exchange for personal favors), Zaara bracelet and Armidi necklace; (2) 69 Miracle hair, La Forgia Brina jewelry set, Aoharu fur coat, Black Lace panties and garter; (both) Belleza Jesse skin, Poetic cat eyes and Candy Nail color change prim nails.

Feeling Mushy

*sighs* Yes, I’ve been negligent in my man-bashing duties because things are good (gasp!) with the new crush. Fortunately I’ve reigned in the googlieyedness just enough for my friends to be able to stand me again.


I’m going to extend my unusually mushy theme to a little love for Solange. I dance around the yard every time she puts out something new. Her flirty, sexy styles like Sassy regularly make my crush go “Oh, hello.”


So my gushy post today is dedicated to Solange, who makes the things that make my guy think, naaa let’s stay in tonight.


Credits: Solange Sassy in black (blogger item), Exodi Lily skin, Poetic cat eyes, Detour Stage Lashes, MiraiStyle Daie hair, Stiletto Moody Pinup, Candy Nail color change.

Playing Dress Up

It’s time to sort through party invites and decide on the perfect costume. Which is much more difficult when the real goal is to make my crush go all dork seizure while I pose demurely purring, “Oh, this old thing?” Sure, I could go for the easy kill, but I’m sure there will be 15 other bimbo cheerleaders there with Emerald viewer-enhanced bouncing breasts.

I thought about appealing to my guy’s inner demon, like with the new limited edition costume from Haven + SLink.


Then I tried an evil mashup, using the $50L Friday skin from 5th & Oxford and the Linc fightclub version of the petite dress.


Appropriate, yes. But, you know, this is probably the exact picture he gets in his mind when I IM to say, “Seriously, is she flirting with you in front of me?” Next.


Going ’80s is always fun, though big-haired sweetness probably won’t leave him picking up his jaw.

I even thought about going Saloon Whore, but, well, isn’t the idea to try a new look for Halloween?


Credits: (1) SLink and Haven Medusa Avatar (subbing in my shape); (2) 5th & Oxford Little Miss Horror skin, Linc Petite Fightclub from blogger pack, 69 Model hair, Candy Nail color change, Tart stockings from the Monique set, Dernier Cri freebie zombie av eyes; (3) Raspberry Aristocrat Krissi hair, Lily 80s skin from Exodi group gift, Poetic eyes, Ruined Cavalier boots, Look blue sweater, Zaara jeans; (4) Dernier Cri Natasha hair, Exodi Lily chocolate skin, Snatch Miss Maverick, Candy Nail color change.


What do you do when your crush is roleplay sim addicted? Sometimes you have to offer options.

You could take me shopping.


You could take me horseback riding.


Maybe take me home?


Or …


Credits: (1) SySy’s Tweedy set (blog set), Maitreya Verve shoes, Candy Nail french, Armidi Gordie print bag, Eclectica jewelry, Tortoiseshell (DSN gift), JE Republic Fran hair, Belleza Jesse skin; (2) SG Shake It shirt, League Garage jeans, Decoy Jully boots, Truth Yvonne hair, Belleza Jesse skin; (3) Blacklisted Bad Things lingerie, Cake Faith II hair (modded heavily for shoot), Belleza Jesse skin, Candy Nail french; (4) Belleza Jesse skin, Truth Freda hair and a homemade pillow.

Strike Three


It’s finally happened. My friends have lost faith in my ability to find a man.

Like a tee ball right fielder relies on mom’s unfailing encouragement, I came to count on my friends for the pep talk. “Sure, this one might not totally suck, go for it.”

No more.

Me: Want to meet BeauWhoMakesMeSoGushyYouCan’tStandMeTheseDays?

Ely:  I thought we met, in front of your house?

Me: Wasn’t he hiding in the bedroom naked?

Ely: Hmmm no he wasn’t naked when I thought I met him.

Me: I’m sure you no longer bother committing names to memory.

Ely: Sometimes that’s true.

Instead of finding hope in my current happiness, my friends avoid me these days. I can’t blame them. They’re already scouring XStreet for a Sorry He’s an Asshat pick-me-up bouquet. When your love life is like so many Kansas City Royals seasons, a few promising starts but never able to maintain the momentum, even your most loyal supporters stop saying maybe next time, slugger.


Credits:  Belleza Jesse skin, Poetic eyes, Truth Rebecca hair, Naive Saquito sweater, Solange cami and Elymode long simple skirt; pic two changes to The Clubhouse Royals jersey and Truth Lisa hair with hat.

A girl scout is always prepared

When we really become jaded, I wonder whether we can ever relax. Readjust the bitter, guarded mindset long enough to simply enjoy what is. No matter how good things seem to be going, the old fears creep in. I go from head in the clouds to watching for the sky to fall.


When you spend your career evaluating for the worst-case, you begin to live your life that way. I think I enter every new relationship with an exit strategy in mind, playing out all the plausible unhappy endings and prepping myself to be OK after.


The good news for me is that I am motivated to try.

As I sort through the answers and try to live in the moment, at least I can take comfort in the skills I’ve developed along the way and prepare myself for whatever happens.


Credits: Belleza Jesse skin, Truth Isle hair, Poetic cat eyes, Candy Nail jelly nails, Maitreya Gold shoes, Luck Inc. petite dress in eggplant (blogger pack). Set by me.


How do you dress for complacency? When things are new and going OK, and you want to look like you aren’t even trying?



I have a substantial stockpile of stuff to throw on when I build, when I watch Twilight, when I read notecards. Or when I’m waiting to see someone but don’t want to appear too eager, or like I have nothing better to do.

Someone on that Secrets plurk suggested loungewear is easy to create and useless. Right. Loungewear is an important mood setter. Do I meet him in footed PJs or comfy sweats? How much do I leave to the imagination?


Credits: Photo one, Dernier Cri Madison hair, Belleza Jesse skin, Poetic moss eyes, Candy Nail long prim colorchange, Akeyo chucks, Elymode lounging pants, Lookr paint shirt, LAP pose. Photo two, Cake Papercut hair, Belleza Jesse skin, Candy Nail long prim colorchange, Worldwide Industries off shoulder top and sweatpants, Soreal superstars, Artilleri ironing supplies, RC Cluster washer, and LAP pose.

Note: Lookr paint shirt provided as review copy, all other items purchased, gifts from friends or freebies, except for Elymode stuff, which I would so purchase if I didn’t get her clothing in exchange for personal favors.

Come Play With Me


Yeah, I’m crushing.

Feles does a happy dance … someone FLIRTED with me without being a total asshat

Ely: i dont believe you

Feles: it’s true it’s true

Ely: nuh uh

Feles: it was so subtle I didn’t know it was happening

Ely has no idea what flirting even looks like

Feles: I’ve got IM proof!

Ely: you made it up

I’ve recently started dabbling in a role play sim, sorting out what brand of demon I should be. And trying on different looks like some sort of Evil Barbie. The trouble is, even in RP, it’s hard for me to embrace a character that is an extreme departure from my core nature. In the real world, my job is to lead others to make decisions they don’t yet know they want to make. That’s not terribly fear-enducing.


Or I could pull from my current SL state of mind. Thinking about possibilities, worrying a little that the past always seems to repeat itself, open to testing the waters …

Meet demon Feles, sporting a saucy little number pairing the designs of Indi and Bax. Known for her sharp tongue and a sim full of embers from ex-effigy-burning bonfires. Though she might appear cautiously optimistic with random bouts of bliss, don’t be fooled — she’s armed with an inventory load of asshats and not afraid to use them.


Credits: In both pics, Exodi Old Hollywood skin, Poetic snow cat eyes, Chaisuki lashes, Earthstones Mara hoops, Candy Nail long prim colorchange. Pic one, CynFul brown denim RetroRomper, Cake Dakota hair, Tesla Kensington boots. Pic two, Analog Dog Lua hair (modded for pic), Indi Designs Liv outfit, Bax Prestige boots, LAP SLex and the City poses. Note, CynFul romper was part of a blogger pack.

Fresh Horses

If at first you don’t succeed …


… try, try again.

A few guys on plurk were suggesting the male bashing is unwarranted. Any casual reader of my lil blog will notice my bashing is well-earned. And that I’m constantly hopping back in the saddle. What was that about the definition of stupidity? Well, yeah, I’ve had bad luck. I get over it. Wash, rinse, repeat.

I decided I needed a new dress. While there, innocently scoping out the options, I happened to notice someone. Bald. Tough. Thick. Bad boy. That always leaves me weak-kneed and blurting out things like, “ohai, can I has friendship, ignore the man-hating profile, I’m single, mmmmm bald, I’m really nice, are you single, oooo strong thighs, I’m usually not so forward, you know, men never IM me, oooohhhhh bald, I can build you a house, call me?”

I don’t hate men. I’m a daddy’s girl to the core. Mine would clean shotguns when boys came to pick me up. Wouldn’t let me go to the door if my date honked from the driveway. He set the bar high and raised me to believe I was worthy of someone decent, someone who would treat me right.

My male bashing is a way to laugh about unfortunate situations. I get disappointed. I’m quick to mock men who forget that even in our virtual world manners and honesty top the list of turn ons. And I’m just as quick to give a chance to someone new. No, I don’t have a date with Mr. DayumYouSo CanHaveMe. I really am shy. A little geeky. Rarely approached. And in the moment content with hope.


Credits: Truth Samantha, Belleza Jesse Deep Tan, Miamai Melody dress, Maitreya shoes, EarthStones Mara hoops, Candy Nails, Poetic eyes, LAP Jazz Hands pose.